Are We Born With Self-Confidence?

We are not born with Self-Confidence.

Let’s look at where it comes from.

Imagine a little baby crawling around on the floor…
Little ones try and try to do something. They don’t give up if they really want to learn. Can you remember learning to walk?

No,  neither can I!

 What I do know, is that how ever many times I fell over, crashed into things and no doubt ended up face down on the floor in a most unceremonious way, I carried on. I learnt to walk. So did you, otherwise you would still be crawling around the floor! This is part of survival. Roll on few years and some brain develpment!

I can however remember learning to ride  a bicycle. I remember the little stabiliser wheels either side of the bike. A big old thing that Mum and Dad found somewhere! This was easy! Then, the day arrived when they decided I was ready to go solo! I was on the bike wobbling. They pushed me along and then let go, shouting, “pedal, you can do it  pedal, pedal!” I might have peddled. I wobbled furiously and then some more.

Bike and I got to the point of no return! 

Bike and I fell over.


Grit in a slightly bloodied knee, no doubt clenched little teeth, I had this determination to get back up and try again. There was no concept of giving up. All my peers were riding their bikes already. I have no idea how many times this cycle (excuse the terrible pun) of destruction looped on for…but then…I was cycling. Round and round on the drive.I was shouting with feverish excitement, a little pink faced scrap of a thing, pig tails flying… I was cycling! 

What a great day that was. I never looked back. I don’t think it crossed my mind that I would never be able to ride bike.  It just didn’t. Everyone else did it, so I would too. Same applied to riding a pony, except the falls were a tad more painful. But the determination and the total love for the outcome, was enough to always get me back in the saddle. I remember Mum saying that we must always get back in the saddle or it will be much scarier next time. She had many wonderful words of wisdom, did Mum!

So when the f**k did i loose all that gorgeous and exuberant  self-confidence?

When did things become so ‘difficult?”At what age do we change and why?

When do we become aware of Self-Confidence?


Then our awareness kicks in.Eric over to you my friend! (Eric is developing a full blown visual of himself…you will be glad to hear! He is getting a little carried away, thought bombing me and trying to cause some serious calendar distraction. So far we seem to have walruses, vikings, three legs to represent of course, the Isle of Man and hilarious amounts of playfully chaotic monsters- He is work in progress!)

Our brains kick in and starts to tell us about all the Things that could happen. Its like a full blown sodding Risk Aversion department!Rather than just doing the Thing, we start to debate, procrastinate, ruminate, cogitate and many other ‘ates’ you fancy adding to the mix!We question our ability to do anything new.We shrink, we hide, we become anxious and we spend a crazy amount of time worrying about what might happen if…

How we Build our Self-Confidence

Self Confidence comes from the latin route “ fidere’ to trustAs in trusting in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgement

Where does it come from? As previously said, we aren’t born with self-confidence. We earn trust in ourselves by repeatedly doing what we say we will do.By making it non negotiable. Self confidence comes from the thoughts that we create and subsequently what we believe about ourselves.

Its an inside job! 

We create and deplete our self confidence using the thoughts that we have about ourselves.These thoughts can be from the past, the present or from our future. We can believe we can do something that we haven’t done before. That is the power of self-confidence.Isn’t that great?

Self-Confidence is a choice!

Self-Doubt is a choice!

We are taught to listen to our fears and ignore our dreams. Who decided on that one?Let’s decide to consciously create the thoughts that create a feeling of self-confidence.Let’s get on out there and create the life we want, desire and deserve.

Next week let’s look at some of the benefits of self-confidence.

Please do leave a comment below.

Marianne .x