OUR Queen: Queen Elizabeth II (21.4.26- 8.9.22)

"This week's been an emotional disaster!

My head's been all over the place, I'm unsettled and can't stop crying."

One of my lovely clients told me on Friday, how the Queen's passing has brought up all the grief for a friend and her granny, who have recently passed."

The passing of our fabulous Queen Elizabeth II (21.4.26- 8.9.22) has stirred up so many emotions for so many people.

How did it affect you?

Me?

I was away in Devon and hadn't heard the press's warning signs as we'd been out all day, and I wept. I actually felt that shaky, knee wobble of shock, even though it was inevitable. I didn't personally know the Queen, but she was a huge constant in my life.

Always there.

A rock, a bastion, an example of getting on with it, and an inspirational and truly extra-ordinary woman.

Her passing has stirred up renewed waves of intense grief for my dearest late Mother and another wave of desperate loneliness.

Now Mum, who I am sure was influenced by the Queen, (rather than vice versa!) in the way she carried a rather stout handbag on her arm, which was held firmly against her waist at right angles. The headscarves in the 70s and their absolute passion for horses and dogs. I have a photo somewhere of Mum, as a little girl with those old-fashioned jodhpurs that ballooned above the knee, a little fitted hacking jacket, lots of freckles and a pony in waiting!

They had both always been there, and I will admit to still feeling a little lost and unsettled.

Queen Elizabeth II funeral is today and this is the end of an era.

If you are feeling great sadness too and her passing has stirred up your personal grief for loved ones, be gentle with YOU.

Accept it, it's all OK. 

Grief is a strange and powerful emotion, and although we are told there are 7 stages, or whatever...it is personal.

It's idiosyncratic.

Please do it your way. 

There is no right way.

Grief is a process, and what I now know with me, is that it has transformed from the muddy overwhelming blackness, to a clear and pure emotion.

It can be like new waves of painful rupture, but it's clean.

This is the end of an era.

Queen Elizabeth II, represented the generation who experienced World War II, who had a sense of lifetime duty to others and who had a sense of the importance of privacy and stoicism. She had a twinkle in her eye, a great sense of humour and mischievousness when given the chance.

And with all natural cycles, this means it is time for a fresh start for the next generation of Royals and for us too.

Now you know me, I love a fresh start, and believe everyday gives us that opportunity.

So when you feel ready to move on, what would you love to do next?

How can live your life so well that it makes you smile and fall back in love with you?

Every reminder of our own mortality, is such a good opportunity to course correct and ensure we spend the rest of OUR lives doing what makes sense to us.

How do you want to spend the rest of your life?

What will make your life truly well lived.

Love. Marianne

P.S. Will I weep today? Don't place bets on it because it's a cert! Yes I will, and I know that as I watch the funeral procession I will feel that tearing apart of my heart and that heat in my chest which is grief for the late Queen, my beloved Ma, and my beloved Father (who passed on this day in 2015) and the end of an era.